


ineffable

by crunchrapsupreme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Untouched, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Smut, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:32:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crunchrapsupreme/pseuds/crunchrapsupreme
Summary: Kenma’s pretty sure he’s been in love with Hinata since the first week they were dating.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _ineffable (a) - too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words._

Being in love is strange.

Kenma’s not used to this all encompassing warmth in his chest, this tightness that reminds him of pain but always blooms out into pleasant comfort without fail. It’s almost overwhelming, feeling everything that’s he’s feeling, and sometimes it _is_ unpleasant. It’s too much, and the shallow breaths Kenma lets out when he’s texting Hinata, the ‘ _i miss you’s_ and the _‘i like you a lot’s_ hanging heavy and anxious over his head. But it’s _good_ , in this new, exciting way that has Kenma grinning to himself every time he thinks of the younger boy.

He hasn’t yet said the big three words yet, and though Kuroo has asked him plenty of times when he’s planning on it, Kenma never has an answer for him. He _knows_ he loves Hinata; can feel it in his bones and in every fiber of his being, and he’s never been more sure of anything, but for some reason, vocalizing those three words is proving to be very difficult.

Kenma sighs as he flops back onto his dorm bed, staring at the ceiling idly. He’d say it’s hard, being in a long distance relationship, but it’s not like it’s a new thing between them. Kenma’s third year of high school and Hinata’s second year was spent this exact way. Kenma remembers Hinata asking him out shyly over Skype the summer after his first year, and though Kenma knew the distance would be hard, he liked Hinata enough to give it a try.

Having weekend visits as often as they could proved to be easy enough, and Kenma actually found the distance to be a comfort, in a way. Easing into a relationship the way that they did seemed to work perfectly, and though there was a bit of strain at times, they made it through just like anyone else would.

Kenma’s pretty sure he’s been in love with Hinata since the first week they were dating, now that he thinks about it. Hinata’s helped him discover who he is as a person, and who he _wants_ to be, and aspires to be. Hinata is a beacon of support and encouragement, and between him, Kuroo, and his teammates, Kenma’s never felt so loved.

He’s pretty sure that Hinata loves him, too. He’s very easy to read and very transparent with his emotions, and Kenma’s always been a good analyzer. Kuroo’s told him many times that he’s been able to read someone before even they know what they themselves are thinking about. He can tell with the way Hinata looks at him when he thinks Kenma’s not paying attention, and Kenma vaguely wonders if he does the same thing, and if Hinata notices, too.

His phone beeps suddenly, alerting him of an incoming Facetime call, and he rolls over on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows as he swipes to answer. Hinata pixelated face quickly comes into focus, and his grin is blinding and excited.

“Kenma!” He says happily, and he must be outside because there’s a halo of sunlight behind his head, and his orange hair ruffles in the slight breeze. “How are you? How was class this morning?”

Kenma hums. “It was alright. We started a group project.”

Hinata frowns, and his nose wrinkles cutely. Kenma hides his fond smile behind his hand. “Aw, that sucks, I know how much you hate group projects.”

Kenma shrugs. “It’s fine, the people I’m with are pretty good students so we shouldn’t have a problem. How was school for you?”

Hinata brightens up. “It was good! We had practice this morning and Tsukishima almost sprained his ankle!”

Kenma tries not to laugh, coughing to hide his amusement. “ _Shouyou_ , you shouldn’t be happy about something like that. It’s bad karma.”

Hinata pouts. “I know, and like, I’m super happy he _didn’t_ sprain anything ‘cause he’s a super important part of the team. But still!”

Kenma rolls his eyes. “Are you all packed to come up tomorrow?”

Hinata bites his lip. “Um, no? But it’s okay, I’m a really fast packer! I’ll be done in no time!”

Kenma does let himself laugh this time, and Hinata’s face immediately brightens at the sound. Kenma feels himself grow warm, and the phrase _almost_ slips out, those three daunting words that Kenma’s been thinking about for the past month, so sure he can taste it. But the words stay stuck in his throat, and he sighs silently as he sits up a bit on the bed and pushes his hair from his face.

“I’ll meet you at the train station tomorrow morning. What time do you get in, again?”

“I think around ten am?” Hinata says, and then his cheeks turn slightly pink, and Kenma is captivated by him. “I’m really excited to see you! I miss you a _lot_ , Kenma.”

“I miss you too,” Kenma replies easily, and his tongue feels heavy in his mouth. _I love you_ , he doesn’t say.

They talk for another hour or so about their days, and what they want to do this weekend together. Kenma has a little bit of extra money and though he prefers to stay in, he plans on taking Hinata out to an affordable little restaurant for an early lunch when he arrives tomorrow morning. Hinata seems incredibly excited about that, but to be fair, Hinata gets incredibly excited about most things. It’s one thing that Kenma loves about him, though.

 _Love_ . Kenma _loves_ him.

It’s a new thought, but not a new feeling, and Kenma settles into it with ease. Him and Hinata talk for a few minutes longer before bidding their goodnights, and Hinata shyly blows him a kiss before biting his lip on a grin and waving goodbye, and as the call drops, Kenma finds himself ready for this weekend more than ever before. This is it; he can feel it bubbling up and ready to pour over, and this time, he’s going to let it happen.

 

\--

 

“Going to meet shrimpy at the train station?” Kuroo asks, taking a sip of his coffee. Kuroo has a Saturday morning class because he hates himself, apparently, and he asked if Kenma wanted to grab a coffee with him beforehand. He and Kuroo don’t share a dorm, but they still hang out just as much as they did in high school. Kenma’s roommate is a quiet animation major who’s hardly home anyways, choosing to spend most of their time in the art studios or with his friends in the dorms across campus. He’s nice enough, and clean enough when he is home, but Kenma’s still thankful for the solitude he gets most of the time.

“He gets in at ten,” Kenma says, sipping on his own coffee and pulling out his phone to check the time. He’ll have to leave soon if he wants to get to the station before Hinata, and he takes another scalding drink of his coffee as the eager butterflies begin to flutter around in his belly. The same butterflies he gets every time he’s about to see Hinata, even after a year and a half of dating.

“Oohh, what are you guys gonna do?” Kuroo asks as they make their way down the pathway towards Kuroo’s class.

Kenma shrugs. “I don’t know. Hang out and watch movies probably.”

“ _Oh_ ?” Kuroo teases, and Kenma fixes him with a blank stare. “What? I’m just _saying_. Make sure to use protection!”

“We do,” Kenma replies curtly, unembarrassed, and Kuroo squeals and covers his ears.

“ _Kenma_!”

“What?” Kenma says, smirking quietly to himself as he finishes his coffee, tossing it in the next trash barrel they pass. He checks his phone again, and when he sees the time he stops abruptly. “Shit, I’m gonna be late. I gotta go.”

Kuroo ruffles his hair. “Have fun, kiddo!”

“Don’t call me that,” Kenma sighs, but he waves and turns around, heading back the way he came so he can make the trek to the train station to meet Hinata.

The train station is crowded when he arrives, and he quickly finds a vacant wall to lean on as he waits. It’s chilly outside, but inside the station is warm, and Kenma unwinds his scarf and shoves it into his bag so he doesn’t sweat too much while waiting. The scarf is an old knitted thing that Bokuto gave him for his birthday last year, and it’s sloppily made but in an endearing way, and Kenma’s found himself grown incredibly fond of it over the last year.

It’s been awhile since he’s seen Hinata, a good few months at least. They don’t get to see each other as often as they did in high school, since the distance between them is a little farther than just a town over. They’ve been making it work, though, and it makes the time between them seem that much sweeter.

Kenma’s phone dings, and he checks it, seeing that Hinata’s train has just pulled in. The text is nothing but a string of emojis and exclamation points, which is to be expected, but Kenma still finds himself smiling down at the message, tucking his phone in his pocket as he steps away from the wall, eyes now scanning the station as he waits for Hinata’s bright head of hair to bob through the arrival doors.

It’s a little anticlimactic, having done this same routine over and over before, but when he spots Hinata across the station from him, and he offers up a weak little wave, his heart _thump thumps_ in his chest as Hinata’s face lights up at the sight of him. Hinata is so easily readable and Kenma is extremely grateful for that fact. His duffel bag bumps against his thigh as he shuffles over to where Kenma’s standing, and Kenma braces himself for when Hinata’s finally in arms reach.

Kenma lets out a little hiccup of air when Hinata launches himself at him, wrapping strong arms around Kenma’s middle and bouncing on his toes so he can kiss his shoulder, his neck, the bottom of his chin, and Kenma laughs softly and ducks a bit, placing an easy but hesitant kiss on Hinata’s seeking mouth.

“Kenma!” Hinata says, nuzzling his nose into Kenma’s collarbone. He smells familiar, and Kenma is weak to the scent. Kenma’s not huge on PDA at all, but he lets himself indulge for just a moment, pressing his nose into Hinata’s unruly hair before pulling back and linking their fingers surely.

“C’mon, let’s head back.”

“Is your roommate home?” Hinata asks innocently enough, but Kenma knows what he’s really thinking about. Even if it’s not about _sex_ , per se, Kenma’s discovered that Hinata _loves_ kissing. He could kiss all day long and not get tired of it. He honestly takes chapstick breaks just to keep going, much to Kenma’s amazement and disbelief. Kenma wouldn’t be surprised if all Hinata’s thinking of right now is making out.

Kenma himself, though, has more of a less-than-innocent mindframe at the moment. Dating Hinata has definitely brought something out in him he never thought he’d pay much attention to.

“He’s out,” Kenma says. “I told him you were coming this weekend, so he’s probably not going to be home very much anyways.”

“Cool,” Hinata says happily, swinging their hands slightly as they walk out of the station, and Kenma finds himself smiling and clutching Hinata’s hand that much tighter in his own.

 

\--

 

Kenma barely has the door closed behind him when Hinata’s crowding against him, tugging at the lapels of his jacket and standing on his toes, teeth sparkling in their smile.

“Kiss me?” Hinata asks, practically vibrating with excitement, and Kenma would be a fool to say no to a face like _that_.

Kenma presses a palm against Hinata’s lower back through his hoodie, keeping him close as he balances Hinata’s chin in his other hand, tilting his head accordingly until Kenma finally closes the distance between them and kisses Hinata. It’s slow and thoughtful, warm and soft, and Hinata ends up breaking the kiss when he smiles against Kenma’s lips, hands gripping Kenma’s shoulders as he tries to tiptoe higher.

Kenma snorts a bit, because Hinata’s _cute_ , and Kenma _knows_ that his boyfriend is cute, but sometimes it still takes him aback, how lucky he is right now. Hinata makes him feel whole, makes him feel like he can conquer any task he wants. Hinata’s a force to be reckoned with, and Kenma just so happens to be happily caught in the crossfire.

Kenma directs Hinata over to the small dorm bed, and luckily they’re both pretty small so the fit isn’t too bad (though Kenma _has_ grown a few more centimeters this past year, noticeably. Hinata is only a little bitter about it).

Hinata fits easily under him, and Kenma’s proudly lazy when it comes to affection, so he usually just lets Hinata manipulate him around and press against him to his own liking. This weekend, though, Kenma’s feeling exceptionally and strangely _affectionate_ , like there’s an invisible pull from the center of his chest cavity straight into Hinata’s. This weekend feels important, feels _different_ , and Kenma’s not entirely sure why, but he finds that there’s a deep rooted longing in his chest, making him almost ache with it, and he needs to be touching Hinata _now_.

“Shouyou,” Kenma murmurs, almost strained in his words as he buries his burning face into Hinata’s neck, and when he licks at the skin delicately, Hinata squeaks and tightens his hold on Kenma’s shoulders. His legs are sprawled on either side of Kenma, and his body is tense with want. “I missed you.”

“Me too, Kenma, I missed you _lots_ ,” Hinata manages, and he always gets so rambly when he wants something but is too shy to ask for it.  “Kenma - _please_.”

It’s then that Kenma notices the hand he’s got cupped against Hinata’s cock, over the material of his jeans, and Hinata’s arching up to try and chase the friction. Kenma squeezes him lightly, listens to the hitched moan that escapes Hinata’s lips, the younger boy tugging on Kenma’s hair sharply.

“How was the train ride here?” Kenma says, trying to keep his mind grounded as Hinata struggles out of his shirt before helping Kenma out of his.

“ _Hot_ ,” Hinata whines, and then he’s giggling when he sees Kenma’s deadpan stare. “It was! I think the fans weren’t working or something! I was super sweaty when I got off.”

Kenma darts down without thinking, licking a wet stripe up the side of Hinata’s neck, and he tastes salty and sharp, like stale sweat. Hinata shudders under him, and Kenma sits back on his heels, staring down at the boy he loves so much.

Hinata shifts under the gaze, but soon his shifting is turning mischievous, and he’s eventually wiggling out of his jeans, getting them to his knees before eyeing Kenma expectantly. Normally Kenma wouldn’t play into these little games, but he feels almost animal tonight, and he walks his fingers slowly along Hinata’s inner thighs before helping him take his jeans and boxers the rest of the way off.

Hinata’s cock is hard when it bounces out, flushed and sticky at the tip, and Kenma never knew a dick could be endearing until he started dating Hinata. He wants to be close, so he lies down next to Hinata, fitting against his side as he starts stroking Hinata slowly. He wraps one arm under Hinata’s body, to curl over his ribs on the other side, and he can feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

“Ah - Kenma, your _h-hands_ ,” Hinata whines, thrusting up into Kenma’s hold. “Feels so good, _ah, fuck_.”

Hinata’s eyes are fluttered closed, pink lips parted, and Kenma decides he wants to be _thorough_ in touching his boyfriend tonight.

“You’re always so responsive,” Kenma says quietly, knowing how his own words have such an impact on Hinata. He remembers, once, after a late night together, Hinata had confessed that Kenma’s voice _really_ did things to him, and he was so embarrassed about it that Kenma was almost in disbelief. First of all, for anyone to think any part of him is _sexy_ is something he never really thought of, and secondly, how intensely just the mere wisp of his words could completely immobilize Hinata.

It’s a blessing and a curse, because Kenma is not much of a conversationalist - especially during sex - but Hinata’s reactions are much too satisfying for him to _not_ take advantage of it.  

“ _Shouyou_ ,” Kenma says again, and Hinata murmurs out tiny pleas, tossing an arm above his head, making himself more vulnerable as Kenma thumbs over his slit, teases down his shaft, squeezes his cock just _right_. “Are you close?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Hinata sobs, curling slightly towards Kenma in order to bury his face in Kenma’s neck, biting at his shoulder as Kenma works him harder, tighter. “I’m - _K-Kenma_ \- I want m-more, _please_ \- ”

“I love when you say my name,” Kenma finds himself whispering, and the words just flood out of him, whether meant to be sexual or not, because it’s _true_. He loves when his name spills from Hinata’s lips, sensually or excited or soft or loud. Solemn or playful, broken or eager, and everything in between.

He pulls his hand away, turning over to shuffle around in his bedside drawer for some lube. They opted out of condoms a few months ago, since they’ve only ever been with each other, and Kenma rolls back towards Hinata, coating his fingers in record time and setting the lube aside so he can reach between Hinata’s legs and rub over his entrance. Hinata hisses and lets his legs fall open wider, his arms reaching up to fist the sheets by his head, and Kenma sits up a bit so he can see what he’s doing, getting on his knees and leaning over the other boy. Heat seems to be radiating off of Hinata, and Kenma fits a finger in easily, licking his lips idly as the warmth squeezes around him.

He prepares him quickly, not even bothering to tease him like he usually likes to do, because his body aches with the need to be inside him already. His cock is straining against his jeans, and when Kenma’s done stretching Hinata, he wipes his hands on the bed and reaches down to unbutton his jeans. He’s too lazy and too desperate to take his pants all the way off, so he pulls his cock out and climbs between Hinata’s legs, pulling him closer by the hips in a rare show of almost-aggression.

Hinata makes an eager little noise, eyes staring up at Kenma. They’ve only had full on penetrative sex a few times before this, but Hinata’s proven himself to be quite needy when he wants to be. Now, for instance, with his doe eyes all shining and dark with lust and something else Kenma can’t quite place.

“Kenma,” Hinata murmurs, tightening his knees on either side of Kenma as the older boy eases himself in. Hinata lets out a shaky sigh, his eyelids fluttering as he adjusts himself. “Deeper, _Kenma_.”

“Shh,” Kenma replies soothingly, easing the rest of the way in with a quiet grunt. Hinata’s so _tight_ , and he keeps squirming, causing Kenma to shudder and lean down closer, his elbows bracketing Hinata’s head. Their faces are close, small puffs of air traveling between them, and Hinata strains upwards after a few moments, licking into Kenma’s mouth as he rocks his hips idly, seeking more.

They’ve fucked before, and it’s been _good_ , but Kenma’s finding it harder and harder to breathe this time, like a cloak has been draped over them both, trapping them in this moment, and the air is thick, almost too thick to breathe. Kenma can feel sweat dripping down his forehead, his hair sticking to his neck and escaping his loose bun, and when Hinata reaches up trembling hands, tugging the elastic free completely, Kenma’s hair falls loosely around his face.

Hinata’s nose twitches when a few strands tickle his nose, and his lips are pulled into a shaky smile as he pants quietly, Kenma’s thrusts turning more rhythmic. Kenma remembers their first time, remembers letting Hinata spread him open just like he’s doing right now, remembers Hinata being embarrassed about finishing merely minutes after entering Kenma. Kenma remembers the feeling of safety, and the feeling of comfort he felt. No unease at all, no hesitance. Kenma’s pretty sure he’s loved Hinata for a long, long time, and he squeezes his eyes shut, burying his face in Hinata’s neck as he pistons his hips harder.

Hinata cries out, arching his back as Kenma drives straight into his prostate. “ _Oh_ , Kenma - right _th-there, please - ”_

“ _Shouyou,”_  Kenma breathes against the soft heat of Hinata’s skin, his fingers digging bruises into the smaller boy’s hips. Hinata’s got his arms wound around Kenma’s shoulders now, holding on for life as his toes curl in the sheets, body going tight, wound up like a spring.

It’s strange, being in love. It isn’t like anything Kenma can describe accurately, and he’s not sure he _wants_ to. He’s not sure if being in love feels different to each person, but he hopes everyone gets to feel this way at least once. He wonders if it’s as painful to everyone else, how it feels sharp like knives driving into his spine, before flickering flames of singing heat lick up his skin, all the way to curl around his neck.

He wonders if anyone else is feeling this, right now, and suddenly he can’t help it. He pulls back enough to press their foreheads together, staring straight into the face that he adores so much, and he rolls his hips, watching the way Hinata’s gaze widens before blinking in sudden pleasure as Kenma closes his eyes and opens his mouth to speak;

“I ... Shou, I _l-love_ you,” Kenma chokes out, eyes flying open, his own cock straining inside of Hinata’s heat. He hardly notices though, Hinata being the sole source of his attention for the moment, and Hinata cries and jerks beneath Kenma, his cock twitching and spilling hot between their naked chests out of nowhere. Kenma groans, because Hinata just came _untouched_ , because of _him_ . “Shou, I _love you_.”

“Kenma, _Kenma_ ,” Hinata gasps, winding his arms around Kenma’s neck and pulling the boy fully on top of him, pressing their lips together wetly. Kenma hisses into his mouth when he thrusts a few more times, jerking forward and trembling as Hinata squeezes around him, finally working Kenma to his own release. He shudders and rides it out, staying buried inside Hinata for a moment more before slowly pulling out. It’s quiet, Kenma still trying to gain some sense of ground, before he soon he notices the heaving breaths coming from the boy below him. When he looks up, a hand flat and steady over Hinata’s chest, he sees wetness at the corners of the boy’s eyes, and Kenma’s brow furrows with concern.

“Shouyou, what - ”

“I love you _too_ ,” Hinata breathes out, eyes damp with unshed tears, and then he’s _smiling_ , twinkling and happy. “Love you so _much_.”

Kenma flushes, and _sure_ , he was expecting himself to utter that phrase eventually this weekend, but he never even once thought about how those three words would sound aimed towards _him_ . It’s a little overwhelming, to say the least, and Hinata makes an _‘oof’_ noise as Kenma rolls onto his back, pulling Hinata on top of him. Hinata’s cheek is squished against Kenma’s sweaty chest, and Hinata giggles suddenly, settling into the embrace and kissing Kenma’s bare chest fleetingly.

“Kenma,” Hinata says, voice light and happy. “ _Kenma_ , I’m all dirty! And hungry! Let’s shower and then go eat, okay?”

Kenma doesn’t mention the phrase, and neither does Hinata, and nothing feels _different_ between them, but something does feel a little more... complete, in a way. Like a cog has slotted into place that’s been stuck on the ring for a while. Kenma breathes in Hinata’s hair again, kissing the crown of his head softly, and Hinata squirms happily against him, finally wiggling out of Kenma’s arms to hop out of bed. Come is sliding down his thigh lewdly, and Hinata makes a face at it, and Kenma’s heart _aches_.

“There’s this restaurant I want to take you to,” Kenma murmurs, sitting up and reaching up to tie his hair back again.

“Come on, then,” Hinata laughs, holding out his hands. He’s completely naked, hair sticking up in all sorts of directions with sweat, and he looks almost unreal as Kenma stares up at him before finally reaching out a hand and letting himself be tugged off the bed. He reaches down to tuck himself back into his boxers, but leaves his jeans unbuttoned as Hinata happily tugs him towards the bathroom, chattering happily, and Kenma smiles, unabashed, as he’s overcome with adoration.

Hinata turns on the shower with one hand, his other hand still holding Kenma’s tightly, and the spare, unmoving cog in Kenma’s chest finally shifts into place with an easy ‘ _click’_.

**Author's Note:**

> gross gross this is gross and mushy and im not sorry at all 
> 
> catch me on the [tumblr](http://crunchrapsupreme.tumblr.com) yo


End file.
